by: Yvette Zavala
My name is Yvette and I just finished my college career. And for once in my life, I don’t know what to do. Yes, I know that I want to pursue a career in film, I was in Los Angeles for the past few months interning and taking classes for fuck’s sake. But really, I had my whole life planned up until now. I knew that I wanted to join a few clubs, spend a summer in Prague, and finish my last semester in Los Angeles. The current song in my head? The opening song to Avenue Q : ‘What Do You Do With A B.A. in English?’ (Only this time with Film). For the most part, I feel under qualified. But then again, that’s just the uncertainty of it all. I was considering just staying out in LA and find a place but at the same time I haven’t really given myself much of a break since I started school three years ago. So, I decided to come back home to Chicago.
Most of my friends have been in support of me taking a break. I am thinking of taking this break up until after commencement at most. Only one person has told me that I would be doing the wrong thing by taking a break. If I do take a break, it should only be for a month. Even one month wouldn’t be enough for me as I look back to last year where I produced a short film for a class that was a requirement for my major. By the end of the semester, despite the fun I had making it happened, I would be in hysterics from how burned out I was. The past few weeks are a repeat of last year. Even a months worth of winter break isn’t enough to help me recharge. It sounds silly but that’s how it has been. I thought that this past summer would help too but it was mostly spent on me researching companies to intern at and such.
I have been moving from city to city since 2009. I’ve lived in a total of four cities in the past few years; it’s crazy to think that I have done that much in so little time. My college life was very different from the traditional sense. It included Academics of course but it was mostly focused on what you did outside of the classroom. Mostly, with film sets and clubs you’ve been involved in. Your last semester could be spent in LA where you would take classes and intern. It was a very fun time but at the same time very exhausting. I don’t regret my decision to go to college there. I knew what I wanted to do and I knew that I wanted to finish a semester early.
However, now everything is up in the air for once. Even in high school, when I was applying to colleges I knew what I wanted to do and had back up plans. However, now it seems like anything can go but I just don’t know where to start. Most of all, I feel really burned out from all the work I have been doing. I love what I do but it has taken its toll on me. This upcoming January, I won’t be sitting in a classroom. I’ll probably be at home wondering what to do, applying for jobs, and seeing what else can happen. But mostly, I’ll be resting. Because frankly, I feel like I deserve it. I’ll know when I’m ready to go back out even if I don’t know exactly what to do at this moment.
Yvette Zavala is a recent Emerson graduate. She majored in Film and was active member of Warlords Productions and Thread Anthology. She spends her time watching films, reading, running, traveling, and thinking. She has this thing called a WordPress (yattayattason.wordpress.com) where she blogs and Tumblr (girlwiththebatshitcraziness.tumblr.com) where she…Well, Tumbles.