Serial Dater: Like Falling For the First Time (Part Two)

by: Adam Guerino

Previously on The Serial Dater: Our hero stumbled upon the person he lost his virginity to and, with high hopes for a possible rekindling of romance, went to meet with him after 10 years. The saga continues below.

As I met my sire for a beer, I was instantly reminded of the intoxicating nature of his charm. He was tall and had an athletic frame with a handsome smile. Even though we were both ten years older, his boyish charm did not fail him. We talked for over two hours, just like we used to on the phone — never with a shortage of conversation. He explained why he changed careers and how his last relationship didn’t work out because he wanted kids but his partner did not. It was incredible to find that my type today was the first guy I ever slept with. He was smart, funny, valued family but didn’t think he needed to sacrifice career aspiration. I began to wonder if he was my type or if my type was him? Was every guy that I liked since him simply someone that reminded me of him?

When the server came around and we ordered round after round, he made a comment that spoke volumes to our connection. “I thought I’d be mostly drinking on my own,” he said. “I know you’re not much of a drinker.” For those who know me, they know that drinking and dancing is a regular occurrence in my life. I knew how to handle my liquor and I handled it often. Whereas 10 years ago, I didn’t drink. At all. And not just because I was a teenager but mostly because I didn’t like the lack of control. It was the first time that it was apparent that even though we had a history, we were strangers to each other. And if he had such a dated opinion of me, I wonder how much he has changed as well? I asked him while we were dividing up the check, if he were looking for friends or dates in the city and he said that he’d rather let whatever happen happen. I agreed that it was the best approach and hugged him goodnight.

I tried to contact him in the next few days to meet within hte next week. But then as the scheduling conflicts became more and more ridiculous, I realized that perhaps my adoration wasn’t mutual. When I was able to make plans with him, half the time he’d cancel.I felt dejected but he kept re-scheduling and re-scheduling so I never got an actual rejection. Then I found, through similar mutual friends, that he had been dating someone the entire time.

Each time he’d cancel and say “Sorry, went home and went to bed” was put under a new light. I went from thinking he was my ideal to thinking he was more of the same. I wondered then if he wasn’t the one who got away, he was the one that worked better as an ideal than a reality. Perhaps ideals are just where we start. And they are terrific beginnings but it doesn’t matter how much you put someone on a pedestal, what really only matters in the end is the follow through. And as far as ideals and beginnings go, he was great. But we didn’t know each other anymore and my idea of romance isn’t a do-over.

Adam Guerino is a writer in Chicago who works nationally as a stand-up comedian and event producer. He is the creator of OutLoud Chicago which brings queer entertainment to the mainstream. He will hosting Word Is Out, a spoken word night presented by and OutLoud Chicago June 12th at Town Hall Pub 3340 N Halsted, 8pm. Admission is $5 and includes a companion lit zine. For more from Adam Guerino, is a great place to start.

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One response to “Serial Dater: Like Falling For the First Time (Part Two)

  1. The thing about this is that you realize that even 10 years on, some people still don’t have the wherewithal to be honest, open and truthful about where they are at. I find that reconnecting with people does always bring back a rush of lust for the past fireworks, but usually I end up seeing how the other person has not necessarily changed or grown and I feel even more disconnected.

    Revisiting the past is best for affirming that your own growth has been beneficial and that the lessons you learned helped you grow and made you more complete than the envisioned ideal person you thought you’d be.

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