What Happens When You Don’t Make It (1)

by: Redacted 

For some people the smudge of shit on the wall would have been alarming or disgusting for at least two reasons, aside from the smell:

Reason 1) When someone of average height sat down on the well used shitter, the finger printed smudge was eye level on the wall of the undersized stall with two curves coming off of its center, sort of like yin and yang of caca; perhaps representing the tao of the military. In this case the idea of someone finger painting with poop was alarming.

Reason 2) I knew the shit was fresh because I, like at least a couple hundred other assholes, had pooped in this same facility in the last 12 hours, because it was the only crapper with toilet paper and a toilet seat near my working area, which leads me to deduce that either the shit stain had survived through cleaning stations the hour before, or had been created in the last hour.  All of the mentioned factors make the situation described disgusting, but the palm sized swastika next to shit stain with the words, “GAY LOVE” underneath it was far more offensive (to me) than the shit itself.

I happen to know how disgusting it is to clean shit, among other things off the wall, and other arguably more disgusting things out of shower drains and off the tiled floors of shower stalls, so I don’t blame someone if they didn’t clean that particular mess in the hour they were supposed to.  My benevolence in this matter makes me an exception because no one on the boat is supposed to care about the undesignated Sailor who has to clean this artistic shit up, especially not at this point in the deployment.  The Death Star is on a deployment that had been extended three times (with rumors of a fourth) and cannibalism had been a pervasive feature of everyday life for the past 3 months.  Someone else might have called the J-Dial of whoever is meant to maintain that space and had the head secured to the close to thousand people who worked the arresting gear, the flight deck and the surrounding workspaces who use that particular head.  The idea of someone power tripping over some shit on the wall or dip bottles in random places is more disgusting than the shit and dip itself.


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