Practice Makes Perfect: Six Steps to Becoming a Master Bator

by: Jonah M. Lefholtz

Disclaimer: I was born female, so I can only tell you how to work that set of parts. I consider myself an expert on this topic. I was aware of my sexuality and my body from an early age, and have been sending manned exploratory missions to my nether regions for a very long time.

Masturbating is a great activity! You can masturbate when you’re bored at home, to pass time on a rainy day, and orgasms (self-induced or otherwise) make some headaches go away and can elevate your mood if you’re blue by upping your serotonin and releasing endorphins. Also, the more you masturbate, the better you get!

1) Relax.

Your body is a beautiful thing and it has the potential to make you feel incredible. Find somewhere private where you feel comfortable and safe. If you live alone you have free reign! You can test your plumbing in your kitchen (masturbate), if you want! Or your couch! Or under your dining room table! If you have roommates, you may have a little less freedom because the space is shared and your roommates likely have ears.

2) It’s okay if you don’t know what you’re doing.

As long as it feels good, you’re doing it right. Orgasm doesn’t have to be the final outcome. Sometimes just checking out what’s down there is a worthy endeavor. And you know, practice makes perfect!

3) Explore, explore, explore!

Try different angles, hell, try all the angles! The clitoris/cock is a wonderful thing and it’s pretty easy to use. Your clitoris is your friend, and it’s versatile! The clitoral glans (the pea-sized, ultra sensitive “head”) is covered with a hood, that’s the skin that covers the sensitive part. See what feels good. Try going around the glans with your finger. Try using the hood to your advantage, if you are easily stimulated (the clit has more nerve endings than the penis – it is highly sensitive!) by rubbing only where the glans is covered by the hood. You might want try try using some lube, if needed, for comfort.

That’s not all! There are the labia majora and the labia minora, too. The labia majora are the thicker “lips” on the outside that protect the more sensitive parts of the vulva and the labia minora are the folds of skin within the labia majora.  These have nerve endings, too, so experiment with touching yourself there, applying however little or  as much pressure as you like. Again, a little bit of lube, if you need it, can make this even more delightful.

Let us not forget about the vagina. Some people may feel uncomfortable exploring this part of their body, and that is just fine. You can skip this part, if you like. I, for one, love my vagina. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. There’s the G-spot. If you haven’t found yours yet, that’s ok, keep looking! I found mine a few years ago, and it’s awesome. It took me a while to figure out how to work it really well, but I figured what makes me ejaculate a few years ago and while it doesn’t always work, and it’s never worked with another person, it’s still great when it happens.

If you can’t find your G-spot, fear not. Close to the vaginal opening (which is located inside the vulva, behind the urethral opening) there is a concentration of nerve endings. This concentration of nerve endings lies in the first 1/3 of the vagina. This is where most of the stimulation from intercourse occurs, and it’s a place worth checking out on your own, too.

You have an anus, too! Lots of people find their anus to be highly sexually stimulating. There’s some stigma surrounding ass play in our culture, but don’t be afraid of finding out if you like it or not. It’s better to have tried and not liked it than to have never tried and be missing out on something totally awesome that you really like. Be clean about it though, don’t use toys or use your fingers that have been in your anus on other parts of your body without first sterilizing them.

4) You have two of them!

Many of us have two hands. This is great for masturbating. In my experience, I’ve found that using my dominant hand for clitoral/cock stimulation (its better fine motor skills make it easier to maintain the right speed and pressure that I need to come) and my non-dominant hand for vaginal stimulation makes masturbating even more fun.

5) Toys!

Yeah! Adult toys are great to incorporate into you masturbation regimen. There are many masturbation aides out there, but I’m going to focus on the vibrating and dildo varieties. My favorite kind of vibrator is the simple bullet design. Sometimes they come with multiple speeds, but they all small and cylindrical and usually have a little button on the end which turns them on/adjusts the speed. There are other kinds too. There’s the egg-shaped sort, the old-fashioned vibrating dildo variety (I think of these as vibrators for novices though), and then there’s the combo dildo with an external vibrating appendage. (I’m sure there are other kinds too, I urge you to do a Google search for more information.)

Dildos come in all shapes and sizes. You can get dildos that look like penises, if that’s what you’re into. You can also get dildos that don’t resemble a penis, and those get the job done too. You can get glittery dildos, dildos that have a “real feel” to them, and dildos made of glass and dildos made of metal. You can get dildos that look like dolphins if you never really got over your Lisa Frank stage.You can find dildos that aim for the G-spot (but since everybody is different, they may not hit yours), you can get really big dildos or smaller dildos, and in-between, of course.

If you like anal stimulation, you can use butt plugs (though you probably only want to use one at a time!). They’re kind of like small dildos, except they go in your anus. If you’re new to anal stimulation and butt plugs, it may take some time and several uses to learn to use the muscles in your anus to keep it in. You can leave it in place or gently apply pressure. Be careful though, and don’t hurt yourself if you’re just starting out. Also, keep your butt plug clean, and don’t use it on other parts of your body after it’s been in your anus. We all have a lot of bacteria in our anuses, and you don’t want that bacteria to go other places.

Keep your toys clean! Read the packages for instructions on how to clean them. I highly recommend toys that can be sterilized. If you have a toy that can’t be sterilized, put a condom on it. Health first!

6) Get your whole body involved.

You have erogenous zones all over your body. There are, of course, your nipples. Everybody has a preference about nipple stimulation; some people like to pinch them, while others like a softer experience. Non-genital erogenous zones are great for getting yourself in the mood. Lightly touch the insides of your thighs, your hips, and your stomach. Erogenous zones feel good and can help your body make its own lubrication, prior to masturbation.

I hope these tips are of some help, if you are in need of masturbating tips! Good luck, fellow masturbators! Practice makes perfect!

Jonah M. Lefholtz is a student and care-taker in Chicago, IL. He recently came out as a femme male and his life is better for it! He likes spending time with his family and friends, has two cats, and appreciates complexity.

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