Get It While You Can: The Dating Profile of Nick Keenan

In an attempt to become more like the shiksa yentas of their dreams, Nico and Patrick have developed a questionnaire for willing writers to fill out.  They feel this will help showcase the writer’s stellar assets and get them laid/meet wonderful people.  The writers of In Our Words deserve nice things. 

If this were a beauty pageant, how would you introduce yourself?

This is Nick. He is aware and similarly unaware.

When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?

I think it was around the age of eight. Although there was always some little thought that crept in my mind even two or three years after that said, “But, what if?”

What famous person epitomizes your ideal mate and why?

Natalie Portman. Harvard graduate, successful in their career, and I also just get this vibe that she is real and can separate her one personality from a paid one.

What’s something that almost no one knows or that you usually don’t tell people about yourself?

I write poetry.

What you think is our culture’s biggest hang up with sex and dating?

We capitalize on it.  That’s not right.

How do you think we can foster world peace?

We will never accomplish that, but a good place to start is at home, with children. “What are you teaching your sons,” Andrea Gibson asks.

What are you long-term goals?

I could give a long rant about my introspective goals, my urge to “make the world a better place,” but I want to be practical for the sake of the question. I would like to be a doctor one day and live comfortably while supporting my family. If I didn’t find someone compatible, I think I would eventually adopt a child.

If you had to stay in on a Friday night alone or with someone special, how would you spend it?

Playing scrabble, eating ice cream, and talking about past times. I cant even stress what reading that question meant to me.  It just brought back so many good memories of times with the person I am closest to.

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I actually wrote a poem about this titled, “I Remember What I Wanted To Be.”  I wanted to be a lot of things, but I can’t stop thinking about who I am now.

What turns you on in a sex partner?

The eyes and the voice.

Did your parents ever catch you having sex or masturbating?

Yes, both. My family is sex positive, so it wasn’t awkward at all. My mom said I was masturbating since 3 years old and exploring my body, which I thought was neat.

 What are the lessons you learned from your most significant relationship?

Don’t have sex until you’re both ready.

 What’s your ideal first date?

Going for a walk in the Botanical Gardens and getting Red Mango or Coldstone after. Perf.

What are your dealbreakers in a partner?

If they are pro-life or conservative, yep.

Are you a dog person or a cat person and why?

While I was at a vintage clothing shop the other day, a nice white and brown cat hopped up on me while I was sitting, and then fell asleep in my lap.  So, I am now considering if I am a dog or cat person. Either way, I’m still going to smile at your dog/cat instead of you.

What’s one thing you want to tell the world?

Surround yourself with people who challenge you for better and for worse.

 How do you see your life when you are older?

Believe it or not, but I cannot picture my life past the age of 21. I don’t have that much forethought I suppose. I’m excited though, nevertheless.

What was the first life lesson you ever learned?

Love your mother.


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