by: Timothy Lalowski
Most likely, at one time or another, we have all come across that special someone in our life that lacks the confidence that we expect in them. Regardless of how much beauty they have, they fail to see it. Situations like this pose a serious threat to any relationship, for as we all know, confidence is key. How then, do we create that confidence and spur that passion we crave? Here are a few basic and extremely effective guidelines:
Get to Know What Makes them Tick
We all know that its important for a relationship to get to know the other partner in order to show your caring for them. This is also important for their confidence. What is it about them that makes you love or lust them so greatly? What are their fears, their weaknesses? What do they see in you? In others? In themselves? Knowing the answers to these fundamental questions is the first step in producing confidence in them. Knowing the most advantageous things to say in order to counteract the thoughts that run through their head is the simplest way to boost their esteem.
Sincerity is Unmistakable
Empty compliments will get you nowhere. To what extent do you think telling someone with actual weight problems that they are ‘skinny’ will get you, or telling someone their hair is gorgeous if you joke about it behind their back? It won’t; they’ll just think you’re full of shit. Therefore, find those things about them you do find wonderful and breathtakingly gorgeous about them, and point those things out. A genuine compliment can go a long way.
Work to Impress
You better work it. If you want to keep that special someone thinking they’re worth good time and energy, demonstrate that. Want to look good for them. Want to try hard to make them happy. Want to do things for them that make them proud of you and make their friends jealous. You only get to feel like a million bucks if you live like it.
Saying It vs. Showing It
Telling someone they’re pretty is simple. Showing someone they’re gorgeous is impressive. It also demonstrates to them a genuine sense of attraction and beauty. If you can maintain that smile on your face when you look into their eyes, they’ll notice. If you can hold them in your arms and radiate warmth, they’ll notice. If you can touch them, sensually, with all your conviction, they’ll notice. Your body language speaks a thousand words.
Appreciate All the Inches
This is extremely important. Never ever ever ever avoid a part of your partner’s body. There isn’t a brighter red flag than you basically shouting in their face that you do not like something on their body or something that is a part of their life. (Unless previously discussed and on the list of places not to go.) From personal experience, the guy that has touched the most parts of my skin and demonstrated his delight for it, has made me feel most beautiful. Touch every inch.
Note: As you develop all these skills, your partner will grow in their confidence. The body should be empowering, and you can help them see that.
Timothy Elliot Lalowski is a student at the Illinois Institute of Technology where he studies Architectural Engineering and Civil Engineering with a minor in Architecture. Timothy is a founder of ItGetsMoreGay.tumblr.com, a G focused LGBTQ help blog. Timothy has also recently founded New Velocity, the Illinois Institute of Technology’s Performance Dance Troupe and serves as president and major choreographer. Interested in the Social Progressive Movement, Timothy continues to work towards his goal of founding the Progressive Design and Engineering Movements.