Dear Flo: A Letter to Florence Welch of “F+TM”

Dear Flo,

The other day I was standing in line at a coffee shop and there was this girl with long, flowing red hair in front of me. I’m a shy person, but that day I was feeling ambitious. So I said to the girl, “You kind of look like Florence Welch.” (Of course, nothing can match your beauty, but I was trying to be nice because it looked like she was having a rough day). The girl said, “I don’t know who that is.” I said, “Florence and the Machine.” She looked at me like I was an idiot, when clearly she was the fool. So I said, “Then you don’t deserve to have red hair.” I got my coffee and left.

I pride myself on being nice, but you do these things to me, Flo. You just do.

I thought about how much I love you. In fact, my love for you continues to expand like a pair of Lungs. And I’m not addicted to love. I’m addicted to you. And I want to stick my fingers into your pie. It’s okay. I washed them.

Every morning when I wake up, I blast you on my iHome, and shake it out in the shower. I don’t want the devil, I want you on my back. And late at night, when I feel a little lonesome, I pretend that we’re both in an enchanted forest. And we’re dancing like fairies. I’ve been called a fairy my entire life, and it’s okay, because you like fairies. And magic. I’m magical. Spectrum? I’m a whole rainbow of colors.  Who’s got the love? Jacob. Say it with me: Jacob has the love. I’ve never tried to build a coffin, but, baby, I’m eager to please.

When I broke up with my boyfriend, all that was running through my mind was “Kiss with a Fist.” And your hair. Too much? Perhaps. He asked me if there was someone else. I left my boyfriend and it may or may not have been because of you.

I’ve been listening to Ceremonials. And right now, I can only think of one ceremony. It involves me and you. You love water. We can get married on a boat. And apparently, you like to idea of drowning. That’s cool. We can be like Jack and Rose. Only, I know you wouldn’t be a selfish as Rose. You would share the floating door. I’m thinking about our honeymoon. Cosmic love? Bedroom hymns? Yes. Yes, please.

You’re coming to Chicago on December 4th. Only for a night? I think you’ll stay. Lover to lover. Please convince Laura Marling as well.

XOXO

Jacob

P.S. You should also know that I stopped watching “Glee” after they butchered “Dog Days Are Over.” Devotion.

Addison Bell  is a senior at DePaul University where he is studying English Literature. He is the President of Oxfam DePaul and volunteers with Oxfam America, an organization dedicated to ending world hunger, poverty, and social injustice. Follow Jacob on Twitter @boy_1904 and on Tumblr: colourmegreenwich.tumblr.com.

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